Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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