I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
