your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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