summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
