forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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