So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
