so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
