Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
handjob tips. give me some.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
