my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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