oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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