She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
