New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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