Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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