We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize