Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
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First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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