i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
