Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
