youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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