Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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