I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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