I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize