God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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