so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
