Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
