Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
