she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
