people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
