the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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