That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
