If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
