It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So many bounce houses so little time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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