after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
