instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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