found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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