Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So much rum. So many feels.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A+ Viking dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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