I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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