Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
