Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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