My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Alive.
So much puke
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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