Christians are straight up FREAKS
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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