She is in my trunk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
