well you can't waste a boner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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