I am full of burrito and curiosity
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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