I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
