well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
