I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
