Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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