I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
