Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
