spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
