if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
