A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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