I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
