so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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