About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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