You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
