dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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