just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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