Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
