I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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