i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
