New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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