ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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