i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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